Sunday, July 31, 2016

Diesel pickup cowboys

Full disclosure: I drive a diesel truck at my job (which there is a policy about mentioning on social media, so that is all I will say) and it does the job it is intended for. 

I am also a gearhead of sorts. I have been known to modify vehicles to make them go faster. I have done things to make them louder. Sometimes it worked, some times no so much... 

Today's lesson is drawn from observation. The major US truck manufacturers are building heavy duty, diesel engine powered trucks.  

Ford markets their engines as "Powerstroke".  GM, "Duramax" and Dodge calls their truck a "Ram" and they use a diesel engine manufactured by Cummins. 

I have also noted this spurs modification. Many seem to want to modify such pedestrian vehicles to resemble the big rigs on the highway.  Giant exhaust stacks and the such.  

Such as this! 
Yep, nobody is going to mistake this for a weenie gasoline powered version...

A few weeks back, my family and I were in my wife's home town area, at a drive up restaurant named Robos. You drive up, get out of your car, walk to the window, and order your food.  There are picnic tables to sit at if you want to eat there.  It was a Sunday afternoon in July, the place was pretty busy.

As my son and I are waiting on our order, a guy pulls up in a white Dodge 4x4, powered by the Cummins engine. I could tell by the large, chrome emblems on the fenders, and the giant CUMMINS decal taking up the entire back window.  If that was not sufficient, he had to LEAVE THE ENGINE IDLING while he got out, ordered his food, and had a conversation with someone.  Now this would not be so bad, except he had what I assume to be a gutted muffler and about a 5 inch exhaust pipe. BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH the engine idled away. I was not the only one looking disparagingly his direction.  No, there was no passenger requiring air conditioning in the cab.  This was a guy that simply wanted to scream "Listen to my Cummins!"

My son of 9 years old was with me, waiting on our order of great American drive up chow, and said "Dad, why did that guy leave his truck running?" My reply was "Because he is an inconsiderate jerk,"  Now I have had vehicles that I was afraid to shut off as it would not re start...but this was a shiny, late model truck, and I am sure he could have shut it down.    

 I have a theory as to why it was left running. With a beer gut the size of his, he probably hadn't seen his penis, even fully erect, in years. So what better way to compensate then by leaving his powerful diesel engine run! And when he left? By all means, wind that fucker up in every gear, spewing out a cloud of black smoke! Now I could understand this behavior if he was say 16 years old, but when you are well in to your fifties....

Of course, the diesel guys have to put giant decals on the back windows of their great American trucks to let EVERYONE know that they indeed have a diesel engine in the truck. And what they think of other truck and or engine manufacturers..

Isn't this classy?  I'm pretty sure this guys actual sexual partner does not look like this.  And I am pretty sure no lady looks at this and says "Why, I'd love to bend over for a ride in this truck!"  
Then there's this guy. Yes, perhaps I am making an assumption this is a guy, but who else would put a decal on the tail gate like this?
 Yes, we understand you feel your Cummins engine is superior to the Ford "Powerstroke", but why the direct reference to male masturbation and ejaculation on your tail gate?  
The Ford owners can be just as "classy" on the road too. Wouldn't want them to feel left out!
Have we sunk to a new level of crude? I guess I shouldn't say "we" as the back windows of my vehicles are bare. Should I feel less masculine as a result?